I don’t remember a time when church wasn’t a part of my life. Ever since I lived in Guyana I have attended church with my aunt and uncle and after I relocated over to the states I attended with my mother. My church is a Pentecostal Christian Church but I can honestly and truthfully say I don’t believe in some of the teachings I’ve been taught over the years. Since I grew up in church I have been around the same set of people a majority of the time. The same youths I went to Sunday school with I go out and hang out with nowadays; the same youths that were picking their noses and saying girls have the codices are now getting married. At times I think about church and I have came to the conclusion that although my beliefs, I have gotten comfortable with the situation and I don’t think I will leave and go to another church. I know it’s the wrong reason to go to a church but at times I don’t welcome change because I am afraid of the outcome being worst or the same.
There was a time I use to spend weeks at church. I was involved in the choir, youth choir, Sunday school teaching, among other things. There wasn’t an area I didn’t have an opinion about and tried to make some changes. I have realized that I may have some acute form of OCD because I like things to be a certain way. I have been told I am business minded and like things to be organized and I try to cater to people individual needs. And these were some of the things my church lacked and I looked at the opportunity to make changes and I hung around. Over the years some of the problems have been resolved but not all. I should go church on a regular bases but I believe I need to go and commune with god rather than with the church.
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